did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i think i have two assholes
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
