Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
