why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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