So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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