I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
