i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
