Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
