i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
