i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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