I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
