If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
