You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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