Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize