We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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