thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
