now i know why i became what i already was.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize