We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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