she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
