3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
