i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
