batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Randomize