New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
