you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
It's rum buckets o'clock
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
