I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Princesses don't give blow jobs
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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