Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize