i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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