Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize