Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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