Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
