He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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