I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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