Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I FOUND THE LEGS
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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