The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
