discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
