he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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