you would pick up someone in the library
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
