During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
