I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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