where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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