This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
