Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize