is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
