took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
