I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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