p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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