dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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