This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
