Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
