i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
