hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
