I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
