So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize