dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
one might say we're banned from that church
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
