someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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