we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
