so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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