i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize