I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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