So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
