Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
