Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
