I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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