I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
