Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
