I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
