why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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