Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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