I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
