It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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