If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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